I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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