my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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