Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
