I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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