good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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