Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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