Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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