Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
