At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
