it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
