Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she told me i tasted like america
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
