We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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