I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
