just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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