yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
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