You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
