There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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