honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize