Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
