and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
