I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
MIDGETS
????
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
