bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
