Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize