So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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