That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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