Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
