there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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