I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think I am morally bankrupt
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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