your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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