Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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