Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just want to make out with him forever
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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