so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
ttyl tear gas
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
