Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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