No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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