just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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