y did u give ur computer a hand job?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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