it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
