You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
