why didn't you poke me back
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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