it was like his penis was on wheels.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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