Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
