P.S. I can't hear my feet
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
