He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
