No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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