actually, I'm a sock model
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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