I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
