You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
did i just pee glitter
She made me pour olive oil on her.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
