Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize