They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
