My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
