are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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