She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
