Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
