Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
