im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
