Please, let me fuck your mom
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
