Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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