well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
