he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
