I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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