Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize