it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
